Writer: Shuckie

Have you cheated before?
I can describe cheating as being emotionally or sexually unfaithful to your partner who you are in a close relationship with. People cheat for various reasons. Some people cheat because they are looking for acceptance, respect, love, praise (things that they likely feel like they are not getting from their current relationships). They are all about a need the person is trying to meet.

Cheating seems to have become trendy or a norm that it is now part of our day to day lives. We don’t even get shocked anymore when we find out that someone cheated because we have come to accept that it is a part of relationships. It does still hurt but not as much since we prepare for it and see it coming.

I know we all know what cheating is so that brings me to today’s discussion: when does it count as cheating? Of course the most obvious one is adultery. We all know what adultery is. This is
when a married man or woman has an extra marital affair. Truth be told, this is the most concrete form of cheating. If you know what I mean. I know people who are dating will also come out and say that their date cheated on them. But honestly, to me that’s not cheating. By the way don’t get me wrong or quote me wrong, I am not saying that those people who are not married should go ahead and have as many partners as they want.

Let me explain this further, as long as you’re dating and the person you’re dating is dating other people, then that’s not considered cheating. Before you react, let me explain to you what I mean. Dating is merely that stage of romantic relationships whereby 2 people meet socially with an aim of assessing the other’s suitability as a prospective partner in an intimate relationship. It is therefore basically getting to know each other as they decide whether to commit or not to. That’s where a relationship comes in. In a relationship comes commitment while dating lacks commitment of any sort. The only commitment for people who are dating is to get ice cream, grab dinner together and go for a movie.

So that’s why you can’t say that someone cheated on you when you are merely dating. One is allowed to see as many people as they choose to. But when it comes to a relation where there’s commitment, mutuality, and communication, then seeing someone else or having sex with someone other than your partner is considered cheating.

So all I’m trying to say is that as long as you have not ‘defined the relationship’ then it’s not considered cheating. Be sure that the 2 of you are exclusive and do not assume that you’re together when you’re not. Be sure that you are both in a relationship before you start catching feelings. Sometimes you might think that you are in a relationship with someone and yet to them you are merely dating.

Always DEFINE THE RELATIONSHIP.

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