Did you know that just because people are cruel you don’t have to become cruel? Look, I know you have been through a roller coaster of issues. Lord knows the best of us have learnt how to wear the occasional fake smile to get through the crowd without anyone noticing the cracks in your heart and the weight that burdens your entire being.
All everyone knows about you is your smile. Never will they see you breaking and God forbid they get a glimpse of your tears.
Funny enough it is the shallowness of our actions that creates hollows and voids that make us empty. We only truly understand this when the music has stopped and the room has cleared. Then the mouth dries up and the air becomes so tight it feels like you can’t breathe. This is when you cry into your pillow and yarn for the light of day so you can take in the drug that is the noise of the world.
Why do we do these things to ourselves?
Pain is almost inevitable as long as one lives on this earth. For many reasons. We are different, unique even and most often selfish. Some of the few who appear selfless have killed who they are and what they want so that they can please the people around them. They have learnt the art of suppression which eventually may lead them to self hatred and at worst depression.
This is what I think. If you are like me who opens my arms to anybody. I believe each person has a story and many times I am intrigued by it. I never struggle to love or to fit into a crowd or even afford the kind of the attention that makes someone feel special. If you are anything like me then you have been hurt a couple of times and people will tell you to change, be different then maybe you will not be taken for granted.
Believe me I have tried. The “being different” thing and it made me sad. I lost who I was for a while but naturally I somehow pivoted back to my natural character. Thank God! So yes, pain happens almost everyday for some people and the temptation to be cruel as a mechanism to scare away the pain is tempting. This act may work for a season but the cost is far more demanding. You may lose yourself and never find your way back. Your sanity is quite necessary for a healthy life.