These past few days have been quite interesting but not in a good way. By now you might have a slight idea about my “superpower” called overthinking and of course I am still working on it, but sometimes it gets a bit frustrating especially when I end up overthinking about trying not to overthink.
At times I am not even sure what I am overthinking about, but it becomes apparent eventually especially when I tend to feel low just out of the blue.
But for now, I could blame it on this frustrating heat wave that is making me unplait and wash my hair three times every day, or I could blame it on my infuriating sleeping patterns that no longer allow me to enjoy normal day activities, or we could go with both.
I do not even know what title to give this piece yet, so that is how scrambled my brain is at the moment and writing an article that is meant to be published on Monday, on a Friday at 2am doesn’t help either but it got me thinking about the reasons why I actually write, and I know one of them is that it is therapeutic.
It makes my brain “smile”, and it keeps me sane.
I usually find it easier expressing myself in writing than verbally and I always feel deeply in sync with myself (mind, body, and spirit) when I write.
There is this new blog I came across tonight that inspired me to get in touch with my emotions just by the way she (the blogger) expresses herself. Unfortunately, I cannot share it with you because you might find it a little unorthodox but the way she expresses herself and connects to her readers is very intriguing.
Writing opens me up to a different realm, a safe haven which I now know is the reason as to why I had stopped publishing my writing a few years back. I found it quite intimidating and scary, having to let other people into my sanctuary.
I tend to think of my brain as one of those 1000-piece puzzles and sometimes it feels like the pieces are all over the place, some in the wrong places or scattered all over the board leaving gaps waiting to be re-arranged and put back to order. Every time I feel this way I write, and all these pieces fall into place one by one until there are no gaps left which then brings me a certain calmness that I call … “my brain smiling”.
In primary school, I remember this one teacher, she used to teach lower classes so she was not my teacher, but she always encouraged me to write and then she would edit and send my articles to get published in newspapers, then she cut them out and pinned them on the school hallway notice board.
I must say, I have no idea what all that was about, but I guess she saw something in me that I did not even know I had at the time. Isn’t it just incredible how someone else can recognise your happy place before you even catch a glimpse of what it could be?
I used to think of it as an escape but not anymore, I do get lost in it sometimes but in a healthy way so I will take that as a good thing.
I guess the heat wave was not all bad after all, since it got me creative, but I cannot wait for next week, it looks like it will be raining again, and I will take that any day. Quite ironic coming from someone who was born and raised in a tropical country huh!
“Just because everyone else is enjoying it doesn’t mean you have to. There maybe times when you expect to feel happy but end up feeling confused or disappointed that you’re not as joyful as you’d hoped. Just because a situation is expected to be a happy one doesn’t mean you will necessarily feel that way. Allow yourself to feel how you feel, and don’t feel guilty if your emotions don’t always align perfectly with your expectations.” Dani DiPirro