Writer: Shuckie

In healthy relationships, partners are not forced into submission. We live in a world where we do not like to be told what to do or how to act. The irony is though that if we want to grow in our relationships, women have got to submit to their men. Submission is an act that is expressed mutually and voluntarily. With submission comes respect and love for the one in power.

The book of Ephesians tells wives to submit to their husbands. Women usually look at this verse as being sexist which is not the case. This perception by women sometimes makes it difficult for men to love them. Some women come off as overly independent and do not know how to let a man be a man. To them the act of being submissive portrays weakness and men thinking of them as being inferior.

Some men also abuse this verse. They see it as an opportunity to control women. They expect women to obey without question. I believe this is a fault of cultural standards where men lead by ruling while women obey by compulsion. They forget to read the verses that follow where husbands are encouraged to love their wives. We all know that love never comes from a place of control and abuse.

Being submissive helps perfect the art of compromise. Blindly agreeing to every need and request or being overly rigid is dangerous for a relationship. It also helps us to consider the desires of others. It eliminates the need to prove our independence and also removes the need to be in control. We are not afraid to let someone else take the lead because we know we are just as capable of the same if given the chance.

Do not confuse obedience with submission. Submission is yielding to power or authority. While obedience is following orders, commands and power or authority. (Dictionary definition). The two are definitely not the same. Submission carries a higher weight as compared to obedience. Let me use an illustration to further explain this.

Imagine there are 2 ladies. A and B. A is equally as wealthy as her husband while B solely depends on her husband. Both ladies plan a girls’ trip. A can afford to pay for all her expenses while B can’t. They both decide to go and inform their husbands about their plans. But the husbands tell them not to go and they stay. Lady A is being submissive while lady B is simply obeying.

I know you may be wondering where the difference comes in. A is submissive because she has 2 options. She can go with for the trip or stay. Her deciding to stay is submission while B is obeying because she has no other option but to stay.

Obedience does not guarantee a person’s willingness to comply with order.

Leah Grace Oketcho, is a highly talented Communication specialist, gifted in leadership with over 3 years of leadership and management experience at different levels. She is a team player and has demonstrated ability in mobilizing and organizing others to achieve desired goals. Oketcho is well vast in the art of creating alternatives for ways to get results. She has over the years grown in the art of corporate communications and also participated in the development of performance management materials for various professional institutions. Leah received training in research, scripting, international relations, and data analysis as well as public relations. She is passionate about solving public health related problems. She has offered training to youth in oral and written communication, people management and mentoring, editing and documentation skills, public speaking.


  1. Well written and said.
    Submission is always an issue of contention in our world when we try to make marry our cultural and traditional norms, about submission, with God’s way.
    Submission should not be used as a means to measure men or women’s worth seeing as we are all created in God’s image. Ephesians 5:21 reminds us, both men and women, to submit to one another out of reverence for Jesus. Our submission to others is a reflection of our submission to the Lordship of Christ.

  2. I agree this is a great article. I may have an issue with the mutual aspect of submission as hinted in the article. At the end of the day, the woman does submit to the leadership and authority of man because she’s doing it ‘ as unto the lord.’ This so because God says you should do. It does has nothing to do with men here and it has all to with God and the gospel. On the flip side, the men are to love their wives however unsubmissive they may be. It is not all to with what God actually says. I believe when Husbands love their wives and Wives submit to their husbands, we will model God’s holiness among the nations.


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