Do not lose sleep over a relationship which has gone quiet on you. You will meet a person who will appreciate you, honour you and remain loyal to you.
There are 4 different kinds of love: Eros, Philia, Storage, Pragma, Philauta
1. Eros : love that is of a sexual passion, physical and romantic. 2. Philia : brotherly love based on friendship which is the common ground most relationships are built on. 3. Storage love : unconditional love, kinship, strong bond. 4. Pragma love : built over time, long lasting. 5. Philauta love : Love yourself.
Planning a wedding is easy. Wedding dress, church, cake, food, friends, parte and my personal favorite, gifts: what’s not to like. Building a life with another person is so much more and that’s what makes a marriage. It takes patience, understanding, long suffering, a forgiving heart and sacrifice to establish a home together.
The gift of marriage is such a blessing when you put in the work. Yes, unfortunately, it does require deliberate work to make it so. This means that you need to consistently work to build on the things that attracted us to one another. Who knows, this may even make you love more.
Marriage is not the ultimate prize. When one gets married, it is a lifetime of building and growing together, learning and unlearning and that is the point we want to get to of having pragma love – long lasting love built over time.
There is no instructions manual that comes with you at the wedding, its trial and error and learning what works for your individual household.
Knowing your role in marriage and what is expected of you can eliminate many unnecessary petty fights. Trust me, I have learnt from experience.
When you clearly know who you are and your role, you flow so much better together.
Colossians 3:4 ‘ And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony .’
I hope that you are encouraged to maintain the bond of friendship and communication. Communication is the white flag that could potentially have prevented some of the world wars in history. Your partner isn’t God. They only know what you let them know.
There must be honor and respect between two people in order to maintain peace. You will not always agree on issues, but the respect and honor get you through to make some compromises. Agreeing to disagree. This is why it is important that your mate be your best friend. So when there is internal conflict between the two people, there will always be chaos but one that is sure to die down before sunset.
Have best friend diaries with your partner…………So much that you are free spirited with each other and are open open books with each other.
When you do not have roses, do not be discouraged. Work together in the bond of peace in marriage.
If you are still single, I want you to know that being single is a good thing. Find out who you are and whose you are, use the time in singleness for self reflection. Build yourself in preparation for marriage. Do not rush. If you rush, you will clash into a messed up person who is also rushing without any understanding of what it is to love a woman as Christ loves the church.
Loving yourself in identity and knowledge of self will help build you up to love someone. While single, you are less distracted to pray, serve God and build your career, ministry, fulfill education goals, build that business. Work on your temperance, having false expectations of what you think marriage ought to be.
If you understand who you are, you will not be frustrated, wondering when a dream is going to come to pass, worried that a problem will not work out or the jealousy of a friend who gets married before you.
Always remember that God is our source of love. Always celebrate the love of God with others every single day.