Writer: Paula

  1. Some relationship advice is for a season you have already outgrown or for a season you are yet to reach. It is good advice, but not for your season. Discern.
  2. Do not listen to marriage advice from people who don’t believe in marriage, they
    don’t share your prayer to make marriage
    work. Discern.
    • What you listen to and think concerning relationships and marriage requires you
      to discern first and then act out the advice.
    • Many have destroyed their relationships, marriages or even missed the man that
      would marry them because of wrong advice from wrong people.
  3. The best relationship advice takes into consideration the root of the issues, not just
    the issues.
    • Which is why relationship counselling is important, it also addresses the genesis
      and root cause of the issues, to understand how you got to today’s problems.
      Discern!!
    • Counseling in relationships and marriage is needed with mature Christian couples
      already in marriage.
  4. Relationship advice from an outsider who has feelings for you can rarely be trusted,
    they will be on your side and be against your spouse/partner because they are looking out
    for themselves. Discern.
  5. Relationship or marriage advice from bitter people or people who have not healed
    from their own relationship woes
    might make you skeptical and suspicious about your
    partner/spouse. Discern.
    • Be careful
  6. Marriage advice from your family members is not always objective, they might be
    biased to favour you against your partner/spouse, jealous or tribal and try to make you
    two separate, or encourage you to stay in a toxic relationship/marriage because it makes
    them look good even if you are hurting.
    • Which why it is best to see a relationship counsellor or someone neutral if you
      two are struggling to make progress on issues as a couple.
  7. Relationship or marital advice from an ex is oftentimes inappropriate.
    • The ex might make you feel he/she understands you better than your
      partner/spouse and you start to regret why you left. An ex also might take pride in
      that you are struggling with another after you left him/her. Discern.
  8. Some relationship advice is generational or cultural and therefore not suited for
    you.
    Sometimes the older generation might advise you in a way that worked for them, but
    won’t work for you and your partner/spouse. Discern.
  9. Some relationship advice and even in marriage might focus on one aspect of human
    living;
    perhaps spiritualizing everything yet there are practical solutions, or giving advice
    that sex will solve all the problems in your marriage, or all you two need to do is make
    more money
    • Halloo
    • A good relationship advice is holistic, understanding that you two have different
      aspects of life; emotional, rational, sexual, spiritual, financial, relational and
      physical areas of functioning and all these affect each other. Discern.
  10. Some relationship advice might favour one gender and bash the other. Which is why
    the best relationship advice puts into consideration both the man and the woman’s needs,
    fears, feelings, contribution, expectation and responsibility. A good relationship
    counsellor will be fair, balanced and making both of you feel heard. Discern.
  11. Be wary of relationship advice or marriage advice whose immediate response is to
    tell you to quit.
    Relationships and marriage are not for quitters but people willing to
    work things out through the good and the bad. Every problem no matter how bad can be
    resolved if the two are committed to working it out. Sometimes all a couple needs is
    patience, understanding and maturity; not to quit
  12. Some relationship advice will come in the form of gossip or slander against your
    spouse;
    leaving you more confused than before.
Leah Grace Oketcho, is a highly talented Communication specialist, gifted in leadership with over 3 years of leadership and management experience at different levels. She is a team player and has demonstrated ability in mobilizing and organizing others to achieve desired goals. Oketcho is well vast in the art of creating alternatives for ways to get results. She has over the years grown in the art of corporate communications and also participated in the development of performance management materials for various professional institutions. Leah received training in research, scripting, international relations, and data analysis as well as public relations. She is passionate about solving public health related problems. She has offered training to youth in oral and written communication, people management and mentoring, editing and documentation skills, public speaking.

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