WRITER: Shuckie

I blame the society we live in for the empty relationships we experience. It sets the tone for what a happy relationship must look like and the pressure eventually gets to you. Many couples out there are married but not in love and those in love are not married. I think it is because we misunderstand love. Love is a close bond with another that goes deeper than affection, attraction, intimacy, chemistry and partnership. Love is best experienced together.

There is this crazy unspoken rule of what and who you should be in a relationship, at what age you should be married and have children or even in a serious relationship. So we end up into toxic unhappy relationships: keeping us in relationships that we might not have been in if it were not for these pressures. We stick in there to please the people around us.

I believe everyone deserves to be happy just try not to step on other peoples while at it. You can never please everybody. Building your relationships around pleasing people will only rob you of the light that glares within. Do what makes you happy. Do you want to go out and make noise, have a one night stand, kiss a random stranger, have no strings attached sex, masturbate, smoke, drink, eat, swim, play? If it makes you happy, go on and do it. BE HAPPY.

PS: Everything is permissible for me but not everything is beneficial for me, I will not be mastered by anything.

Being in a relationship should be a choice. Not everyone is meant to be married or be in a relationship. Sometimes you are better off on your own. Being alone doesn’t mean you are lonely. Love you. Your happiness does not hinge on a partner. The partner is a bonus to your happiness. When your happiness hinges around an individual, you lose who you are. It is almost like you require their permission to be happy. People’s gestures just compliment your happiness.

For lack of a better way to put it, a relationship/marriage for me should be a partnership where a man and a woman understand each other and can live together in harmony while having each other’s back: with not so many expectations attached to either party since expectations cannot really be ruled in a relationship since they are part of it.

Let me dive a little into expectations, being a lady am going to focus on what is expected of me in a relationship or marriage. For example, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the home, etc. these are things which are usually based on to determine whether a girl or lady is ‘marriage material’ or not. Which to me is ridiculous. One might not be able to do all these things but in the long run being with this person gives you more peace of mind as compared to being with someone who does know how to do them. And a lady should be able to do these things only because they want to do them and not because society expects her to do them. And trust me once a lady is happy in a said relationship, she will gladly do it.

PS: Relationships and happiness can co-exist or be married but your happiness should not depend on someone else and what society thinks.

Leah Grace Oketcho, is a highly talented Communication specialist, gifted in leadership with over 3 years of leadership and management experience at different levels. She is a team player and has demonstrated ability in mobilizing and organizing others to achieve desired goals. Oketcho is well vast in the art of creating alternatives for ways to get results. She has over the years grown in the art of corporate communications and also participated in the development of performance management materials for various professional institutions. Leah received training in research, scripting, international relations, and data analysis as well as public relations. She is passionate about solving public health related problems. She has offered training to youth in oral and written communication, people management and mentoring, editing and documentation skills, public speaking.


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