We often see people who are in successful relationships or even married couples and wonder what they did to get where they are in these relationships. And when asked, each couple will give a different theory or reason. I will not list them because I’m sure that you probably already have your share of these stories before. The question is, which of these stories do you agree with? And out of these theories, how many have you tried out and did they work out? I am not disregarding the fact that they work, but will they work for you?
One thing you need to know is that each relationship is different. What makes each relationship unique is the fact that the people are different. My relationship is going to be totally different from your relationship. Two different couples with totally different ways of doing things and totally different outlook on relationships. Of course not forgetting the fundamentals in a relationship that cut across like love, respect, communication, trust, mutual emotional support, boundaries, companionship, sexual expression, economic security, friendship, harmony etc.
I know I said I wouldn’t give an example but this is necessary. The most common of course being sex. Many girls will tell you ‘give your man that cookie and see if he will leave’ but then again, how many have been left after having a taste of the ‘cookie’. And if you think about it, many women would be married by now if that was the case. I am not saying that you shouldn’t give your man the cookie, what I am saying is giving it to him won’t necessarily guarantee that he will stay with you or even marry you.
I believe that there is no formula to successful relationships. Sometimes I even think that they can be related to a game of chance. You either win or lose. It either works out or it doesn’t. For example, one will tell you that you need to date someone for at least 3-5 years before you get married. But how many marriages have ended after dating for long and how many marriages have lasted after getting married after 2-3 months of dating? No formula really.
So I say again, there is no formula to relationships. If it is meant to be it will. Try not to copy everything in other peoples’ relationships. What works for them might not necessarily work for you. Listen to their stories and pick out what might work for you but if it isn’t working, do not force it. Comparing your relationship to others can also be frustrating and can also lead to its end.