It’s Valentine’s week and on Sunday we will be celebrating the people that we love. Such an exciting time of the year. Lord knows I look forward to it each year. Sometimes I am overwhelmed, other times surprised and a few times disappointed. I remember the first time I cared about valentines, I took a walk along jinja road at dusk and enjoyed watching the different translations of what valentines is.
Unfortunately, for those who are not in some kind of relationship, valentines is a season for “loneliness”. I put this in quotes but surely we all know that being by oneself doesn’t equate to being lonely. Loneliness is actually a state of mind that causes you to feel empty, alone and unwanted. Yes, being without a partner can make you lonely but being without a partner does not necessarily mean you are lonely.
This is what I have been learning that often when you try to give off something that you don’t have, it only drains what little of you that you have. Just think with me here. If say, you do not have a cent to your name but you know someone that needs some money… so you go out and take a loan so that you can help them out. What happens is you only create a debt on yourself that you cannot even begin to imagine how to repay. While some people may think this action noble, it adds nothing much to you.
So this is what I think: it is very true that to love someone and I mean to truly love someone, you must first know what love is and then you can truly love. But most importantly, you must love yourself. I believe that if you for some reason do not love yourself it affects your ability to truly love anything else. The insecurities or whatever thing that is making it difficult to love yourself trickles down to what you can offer.
It is actually okay to spend valentines by yourself especially since for some it is just like any other day. Do not take out a day in your year to be depressed. This day may very well be the best just yet. I mean really think about it. What is that thing that makes you smile, stay in, no judgement, no explanations. Be a little selfish. Pamper yourself.
This Valentine’s Day is for you to rediscover LOVE. Rediscover YOU!